It’s tough to watch most recent animated films because so few of them actually go out of their way to be good. Out of all the animated movies I’ve seen this year, I think I can name three that tried to tell a good story instead of flashing pretty colors on screen to hypnotize the kids for 90 minutes. “Penguins of Madagascar” isn’t one of them. In fact, “Penguins of Madagascar” is the very definition of a cheap cash-in that exists solely to get children in those seats.

The story follows the so-called secret agent penguins as they go on a journey to stop a mad scientist/octopus from unleashing a weapon on all the penguins of the world to make them less cute. Their journey takes them all around the world while a rival team of secret agent animals called North Wind are also trying to get the octopus.

While I don’t dislike the penguins (Skipper, Private, Cowalski and Rico), the only two who actually are essential to the film are Private and Skipper. Rico and Cowalski, while distinct and useful, don’t really add too much and they feel like they’re only there because they have to be (since the “Penguins of Madagascar” are apparently established characters in this series). They exist to be there and try to be funny, and I found their presence completely pointless. The other group of animals, North Wind, is much cooler with some really awesome characters. There’s a wolf named Classified, a polar bear named Corporal, a seal named Short Fuse and an owl named Eva. Why can’t we get a spin-off with them? They’re cool AND funny—a compliment that can’t be extended to this film.

Rarely have I seen a movie that fails so thoroughly at comedy. I didn’t laugh one single, solitary time during the 92-minute runtime, and it’s tough to watch because it’s clear that the writers have absolutely no clue what’s funny. I experienced three penguins playing polka music while spanking each other. Do you know what that’s like? I will never be able to unsee that. I’ll have to live the rest of my life reliving that moment.

The animation quality is surprisingly poor. The film doesn’t look as beautifully detailed as Dreamwork’s “How to Train Your Dragon 2” nor does it look as stylish as “Mr. Peabody & Sherman.” It feels like a cheap, made-for-TV movie with no effort put into it. The environments are boring and basic and many of the furry animals’ character models look like they came from a PlayStation 2 video game. Everything looks shiny like plastic. Compared to Dreamworks’ previous efforts with “How to Train Your Dragon 2,” “Penguins of Madagascar” absolutely reeks of laziness and a lack of effort. For something that was probably meant to be bright and colorful, this has dark and moody lighting in completely inappropriate scenes. It doesn’t help that the 3D post-conversion is one of the worst I’ve ever seen, completely assaulting my depth-perception.

The only factor I can say wasn’t a disappointment was the voice acting. This mainly applies to Tom McGrath as Skipper and the always-awesome Benedict Cumberbatch as Classified. Each voice actor fits their character perfectly and I can’t think of a single thing I’d change.

“Penguins of Madagascar” is easily one of the worst films I’ve seen this year. It feels like a pointless cash-grab with almost no effort put into it apart from the talented voice actors. It’s got good voice acting, but that’s not enough to save it when literally everything else feels cheap and lazy.

If this film was simply bad, that would be fine, but “Penguins of Madagascar” took something away from me. “Penguins of Madagascar” gets a one out of five.