For only $1.99 the Android store offers the ultimate wingman: BroApp.
As advertised, it “automatically messages your girlfriend sweet things so you can spend more time with the Bros.” Take a second to think about that. There’s an app that sends sweet messages to your girlfriend? If you’re considering buying it, you should also consider being single, because that’s probably what will happen if she finds out.
The app can send a variety of personalized messages at a specific time of the day (i.e. when you are leaving work). It even knows not to send messages when you are in certain places. For example, if your phone connects to your girlfriend’s wifi, BroApp will know not to send a message to her. Also, it won’t send a message if you have recently messaged your girlfriend.
Sorry iPhone users, but BroApp is only for Android. Currently, it has a four out of five star review.
Joe, a reviewer giving the app five out of five stars, said, “Excellent. Works great, I’m the best [boyfriend] ever.”
David, a reviewer who also gave it five out of five stars, said, “The girl loves getting regular messages, and they get sent even when I’m temporarily distracted with other things.”
Evidently the app is pretty popular. At this point, I hope you haven’t lost all of your hope in humanity.
Upon discovering that their boyfriend has been using BroApp, the majority of girls would be upset to say the least. It may even ruin your relationship. I hope that none of you are actually considering using BroApp. If you really need to use an app to send messages to your girlfriend because you don’t have time to send them yourself, then you probably don’t have time for a girlfriend at all.
As if this couldn’t get worse, a large majority of the reviews are asking the developers to add a feature allowing the app to message multiple girls.
Daniel, a reviewer, said “Doesn’t allow for multiple girlfriends.”
Another review, Moody, gave a depressingly similar review. “Great app but would be way better if [I could] add more than one person as [my girlfriend],” Moody said.
You don’t have enough time to send a message, yet you have two girlfriends?
Sure, it’s sweet that you want to make your girlfriend feel appreciated, but BroApp probably isn’t the best way to do it. People commonly say chivalry is dead. This app not only assists in the murder, but it also hides the body.